So sad

Tonight I am so so sad... I found out that going to Utah for the reunion might not work out for me, and it seems that it might be time for Jackie to be put to sleep.  Sometimes it all just seems too much for me... I know these aren't catastrophic things and people go through it all the time, but it's enough to throw my world upside down.  It seems like when I start to gain a little momentum then it all unravels again.  Tonight I don't want to continue on... :-(