So life lately has been pretty crazy. On Monday Mom and I got up at 5:00 and went to paint again... I was so tired haha. We had a huge fiasco trying to get more paint, and ended up going back to Home Depot 3x before getting it right. It was pretty frustrating as it put us behind about 2 hours overall, plus we wasted a lot of energy. Then I went to the pool as normal on Monday and everything was fine. On Tuesday I again got up and 5:00, went and painted, and then had an appointment with Betsy. I was very weepy during the appointment... I cried on and off the whole time, and just felt so sad and super tired. I hung in there though and was back at the pool to do some privates on Tuesday evening. Then on Wednesday Mom and I got up yet again at 5:00 and headed back to Avondale for what we hoped would be the last time. Luckily we were able to finish... whew, that was rough! Then we came home, I took a shower and got all cleaned up to go do some more privates. I was almost to the pool when I got a forward from my attorney that the team had decided to end our contractual relationship, and sever ties completely. I was really caught off guard, and really lost it. I had to turn around and go home, and I was basically beside my with sadness and frustration. I had to call the people that I had the privates with to tell them that I couldn't do them, and I said I was fired, (because that's how I understood it.) I came home and cried... A LOT. I felt that my life was over and I really wanted to die. It was obviously very rough and super dark day for me.
After texting or calling some people that I was "fired" I got a call from my attorney telling me that I couldn't say that as it wasn't technically correct. Evidently me telling people that caused a "firestorm," as parents were mad and swimmers were upset. After that I zipped my lips and will stay quiet about it from here on out, (which of course will be very hard.) Anyway, I have no idea what will happen with all of that now, but I just hope we can get the severance agreement worked out, so I can be completely free from it all. I am just ready to move on, and to move forward with my life!
For a little while I have been brainstorming possible options for me... Things I might be able to do with my life. For a while I thought I might want to be completely done with synchro, but all of this has ironically refueled my desire, and I think I'm ready to jump back in the game. If I do though it will be completely on my terms, and I will never get myself into a position like I was in again. I will be meeting with a person from another local team this morning, and hopefully with another team sometime this week. I feel optimistic that I can work something out that will be a good fit for me. I hope anyway!
Otherwise I have a little bit of time to rest and recharge my battery right now. I was going, going, going hard and strong for a good week there, and I am still feeling pretty tired from it haha. This week coming up is US Nationals at Kino, so I am very excited about that. It will be hard to be there and not be a part of the team, but it will be nice to be there just to watch and to visit with my friends. Of course it will be a great time to network and get ideas for further options. I am really looking forward to it!! :-)
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