Saturday, April 7, 2012

Catching my breath...

So life lately has been pretty crazy.  On Monday Mom and I got up at 5:00 and went to paint again... I was so tired haha.  We had a huge fiasco trying to get more paint, and ended up going back to Home Depot 3x before getting it right.  It was pretty frustrating as it put us behind about 2 hours overall, plus we wasted a lot of energy.  Then I went to the pool as normal on Monday and everything was fine. On Tuesday I again got up and 5:00, went and painted, and then  had an appointment with Betsy. I was very weepy during the appointment...  I cried on and off the whole time, and just felt so sad and super tired.  I hung in there though and was back at the pool to do some privates on Tuesday evening.  Then on Wednesday Mom and I got up yet again at 5:00 and headed back to Avondale for what we hoped would be the last time. Luckily we were able to finish... whew, that was rough!  Then we came home, I took a shower and got all cleaned up to go do some more privates.  I was almost to the pool when I got a forward from my attorney that the team had decided to end our contractual relationship, and sever ties completely.  I was really caught off guard, and really lost it.  I had to turn around and go home, and I was basically beside my with sadness and frustration.  I had to call the people that I had the privates with to tell them that I couldn't do them, and I said I was fired, (because that's how I understood it.)  I came home and cried... A LOT.  I felt that my life was over and I really wanted to die.  It was obviously very rough and super dark day for me. 

After texting or calling some people that I was "fired" I got a call from my attorney telling me that I couldn't say that as it wasn't technically correct.  Evidently me telling people that caused a "firestorm," as parents were mad and swimmers were upset.  After that I zipped my lips and will stay quiet about it from here on out, (which of course will be very hard.)  Anyway, I have no idea what will happen with all of that now, but I just hope we can get the severance agreement worked out, so I can be completely free from it all.  I am just ready to move on, and to move forward with my life!

For a little while I have been brainstorming possible options for me... Things I might be able to do with my life.  For a while I thought I might want to be completely done with synchro, but all of this has ironically refueled my desire, and I think I'm ready to jump back in the game.  If I do though it will be completely on my terms, and I will never get myself into a position like I was in again.  I will be meeting with a person from another local team this morning, and hopefully with another team sometime this week.  I feel optimistic that I can work something out that will be a good fit for me.  I hope anyway!

Otherwise I have a little bit of time to rest and recharge my battery right now.  I was going, going, going hard and strong for a good week there, and I am still feeling pretty tired from it haha.  This week coming up is US Nationals at Kino, so I am very excited about that.  It will be hard to be there and not be a part of the team, but it will be nice to be there just to watch and to visit with my friends.  Of course it will be a great time to network and get ideas for further options.  I am really looking forward to it!! :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment