Lost

Today has been a bit of a rough day.  I started off by getting up at 5:00 am again to go paint in Avondale, (by myself.)  I was really tired but trying hard to push through so we can get the job finished soon.  While I was there I got an e-mail from someone from the city saying that they have been notified that I am "no longer associated" with the team, so I need to return the keys.  I knew the team wanted to keys back, but saying that I'm no longer associated was something entirely different.  It just seems like I get slapped in the face continuously these days, and now I'm not sure if it means that they have fired me, or if it's just them lying trying to get the city to demand my keys back.  I have contacted a few people from the team about it, but have heard nothing... I don't know what to do.  I don't want to be associated with the team anymore, (as it's definitely toxic,) but it's helping me earn a living right now, plus a lot of girls are depending on me.  It's all a little overwhelming, and today I am really not able to handle it too well... I've been crying a lot, I don't feel good, and I simply feel sad and very lost. :-(

Tomorrow morning Mom and I are getting up again at 5:00 to go back to hopefully finish the paint job.  I don't mind the painting... It's just a bit stressful trying to get it finished fast.  It's just a really big house that is in pretty bad shape.  I pray we can finish so I can rest a little and catch my breath.

Anyway, I guess I'll try to get to sleep a bit earlier tonight.  Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day!