Yikes...

My anxiety is through the rough... I can't calm down... I don't know if I can do this!!!  Today was my first day, (out of training,) at Starbucks, and although I did okay overall, I'm not sure I will be able to handle it.  There are so many things to remember... So much going on all at once, and it's really overwhelming.  I know that all new jobs are like that until you get the hang of it, but it worries me that a lot of people are saying they didn't feel comfortable until after 3 months, 6 months, 1 year, etc.  How can you continue doing something for so long when you feel so anxious and uncomfortable?  I just don't know... I don't want to give up, but I do at the same time.  Things have been so hard for me the last couple of years, and I just don't want to get myself in a situation that is going to cause me a lot of distress.  Is it too much to ask for a life that doesn't make me feel sick?  It worries me that perhaps I will have trouble dealing with anything... I guess I feel a little fragile, and tonight I feel like I'm going to break all apart.  This anxiety is really killing me! :-/

Tomorrow I work basically the same hours, but I also have an interview at Walgreens, (which all in all makes the day pretty darn long again.)  I don't really know why I agreed to do the interview, but I guess it's good to keep my options open, and see what they might have to offer me. I really don't know what I really should be doing right now, or where I should be working... Ahhhh!!!  Hopefully tomorrow I will feel less anxious and fell better about it all.  Otherwise I may need to go hide somewhere!