Tomorrow we have to get up early and go and move all the stuff from my condo to storage, (as the short sale seems to be almost complete.) I am not sure how I'm going to feel about it... On one hand I feel sad as Rosita, (what I named my condo,) was my first place and I of course am attached. That being said though I think it may also be a bit of a relief, as it became a huge burden for me, and was a place where my eating disorder raged out of control. Since I have been back from CFC I have not been able to stay there even one night, (although I tried twice,) so it's probably better that I move on from that period in my life. Hopefully tomorrow I won't be too sad... We'll see I guess!
Today Mom and I went shopping for quite a while together and managed to not kill each other, (as there were some moments haha.) We first went grocery shopping, and then we went in search of some khaki pants for me, (as I need them for Starbucks and I had none.) Tonight I felt the need to connect with some friends, so I spent some time writing letters in which I will mail on Monday. All in all it was a pretty good, even though I had some sad moments for not being at zones this weekend. It's hard because I am happy I'm not there, but at the same time really sad... It's all rather confusing, and I hope with a little more time it will get easier.
Monday I start at Starbucks. I am feeling a little anxious to get started, and just really hope that it all goes okay... I know I shouldn't be stressed, but I always want to do a good job, and this is something completely new for me. Hopefully it will all work out okay, and I will do well and enjoy it. I just need a little bit of distraction right now, and a little bit of time and perspective to be able to figure out what I might want to do next with my life. I'm also of course hoping for a little bit of fun, and perhaps to meet some new friends as well. I'm ready to live life now, (instead of just exist,) so I'm hoping this might be the fresh new start I need. :-)
Oh lovie, I'm here for you today when you need it. You also should write me some hand written letters :) I love snail mail letters. You're going to do awesome today. And I challenge you to go back to the place one more time after everything is moved out and cuss out olga. I mean, really go at it for everything she's taken from your life. Leave your frustrations there and the relationship to your ed. Then start at starbucks monday, refreshed. Love you.
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