Slipping...

The last week or so has been pretty rough, and I feel like I'm slipping back into old behaviors and habits.  When times get stressful it's so easy to do, (and comfortable,) and of course Ed is always so seducing.  My body image is completely in the toilet, and unfortunately I have resorted to restricting.  It doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit grossed out by my Mom, (as it seems like she is always eating,) and it is a huge trigger today.  I have eaten but have not followed my meal plan at all, am drinking way too much diet soda, and at this point in the day would like to completely fast.  I am trying to think logically though as this is not the direction I want to go, but pulling myself out of the quick sand today is proving to be extremely difficult...

Work has also been a bit frustrating.  Unfortunately it seems that we are having some bad luck, and I currently have a lot of unhealthy swimmers, (shoulder issues, appendix, possible mono and other health issues.)  I am trying to not let it stress me out to much, but we have our first competition next weekend, and I don't know who will be able to swim... Luckily it's not an important competition, but it is still stressful, as we are not able to prepare as we need to.  We have Zones in 6 weeks, and JR Nationals won't be too far after that.  I need my people healthy and training!  Hopefully things will turn around very soon, otherwise the season might be a loss. :-( 

I'm feeling like a need some space at the moment, and I'm not quite sure how to accomplish that while living at my Mom's house. It's just too much, and I'm not sure how to handle it with her, because it usually turns into a fight.  I don't want it to be like this, but I am an adult and I'm used to living alone and doing my own thing. I don't want to have to answer questions all day long, and I don't want to feel like I'm having to answer for everything I do.  It's just hard... I think I am ready to have my own place again, but it's still going to be a while.  The short sale of my condo is going very slowly, and I can't seem to get ahead financially.  It also will be pretty impossible for me to get a place with my current income..... Hopefully I will be able to find a part time job that I like that can help supplement!  It will take actually looking though, which is something I have really not done yet. 

Okay I've done a lot of complaining here haha... For the rest of the day I am going to search for all the positives in my life and try to focus on those for a while.  Perhaps that will help turn things around for me!