Trying to find my rainbow.

So I find myself  feeling pretty down and super frustrated tonight...  I am not sure why exactly, except that I am just feeling like I am going nowhere fast, and I do not know if I am capable of making the changes that I need to make in order for my life to be different.  I feel really stuck, and I don't know where to go from here.  I guess I was hoping to come out of CFC this magically different person, ready and able to now conquer the world... Unfortunately though that's not the case, and in the end I am the same old Jill with the same fears and insecurities.  I'm trying to look at it like I'm still a "work in progress," and that all takes time, but it's hard when you feel hopeless.  I guess I just wish I had a clear path to enlightenment... I wish I had things to look forward to.  I wish I still had goals and dreams, and some spark for life.  Instead though I feel heavy, I feel weighed down, and I feel unable to break free from the chains that bind me to my old way of thinking and living.  I feel that I have imprisoned myself in a cage that I may never be able to break free from.  I feel alone, I feel scared, and I'm not sure how much longer I can continue to feel this way...  It is a very dark place to be, but I am trying to be brave and I am trying to look toward the future. I am hoping that the new day will bring me clarity, and I will be able to see through the fog and the rain.  In order for this to happen though I need to dig down deep within my soul to find the will to continue on.  I need to find the life within me.  I hope and pray that there is something there and I can find the strength to push foward.  Can I do this?  I don't know... Tomorrow I will start a quest to find "my rainbow."