Today was a pretty hard day overall. I went to the pool to work on some suits, and got there I noticed that the pictures that I had up with me in them where all down and in a drawer. I was supposed to have a private with the president's daughter, but I decided that I really couldn't go through with it so I cancelled it. Unfortunately I was not able to get out of there early enough and she ran and caught me, (even though I tried to go around the other way.) I'm not sure what her goal was, but she ended up making me feel worse about the situation. I told her that I felt that I had been set up for all of this, and she basically made me feel like I was imagining things. I don't think I'm imagining things... I think there was a plan, and I think that plan was to replace me.
It's all been a little harder today as well because this weekend is the Cactus Classic, and of course I am not there. It's pretty difficult to know that there is a meet going on while I am at home, and to make matters worse I feel that I am not missed. It may also be the case that certain people are ecstatic that I'm not there... It's all very disheartening and humiliating.
Tomorrow is a new day though, and I'm going to really try and turn things around for myself. I want very badly to be able to get past this, and create some kind of life for myself. I mean things really can't get that much worse can they? Gosh I really hope not!!
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