So the last couple of days have been much better then Wednesday and Thursday. Although today was a really long day at the pool, I was much calmer, and didn't feel nearly as "revved up." I am still pretty anxious about the amount of work I still have to do, but I will just keep working hard and hopefully things will all fall into place. I guess if things don't fall into place it's not the end of the world... although I know it may feel that way!
Tonight I am just hanging at home and relaxing. Tomorrow I'll probably go to the pool for a little bit to do some glitter work, and perhaps I'll try to go for a swim. I still feel really uncomfortable in a swim suit, but I do enjoy swimming, and would love to build up my upper body again. I have been running and riding a bike quite a bit, so hopefully I'll feel like I'm back in shape soon... Of course Olga says I need to lose quite a bit of weight, (and she is constantly talking at me,) but I'm trying to silence her as much as possible and trust my treatment team instead. It is definitely a huge challenge though, and it can be really confusing because I don't know what is real and what's not. I hope that eventually it won't be so hard... It's absolutely exhausting. I am trying to stay positive though! :-)
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