When?

So I think I made another mistake agreeing to go back and coach for the team at all.  I was there for a private today, and it was just so very hard, and ended up making me feel really bad about myself... I'm really not sure how I'm going to be able to handle the next 2 days... I should not have come back to the team after returning from CFC, and I should not have agreed to go back to do this... I keep opening myself up for heartache over and over.  When will I feel ok again?  When will I be okay in my own skin?  I am so scared that there is nothing more for me... I just don't know how much longer I can handle feeling like this... :-(